As a counsellor, I know that a very big aspect of being effective is about self-care. The reason is that I cannot hold space and be a supportive listener and facilitator if I am coming from a fragmented or overwhelmed place within myself.
The most important aspect of wellness and well being is Self Love. When we love ourselves enough to take care of our inner core and honour our Higher Self, making time to listen and respect our own uniqueness, the essence of who we are feels affirmed. When we take care of our bodies, our thoughts, our feelings and how we behave in our life, the essence of who we are feels acknowledged.
Negative self-talk takes away loving energy from ourselves. When we stop for a moment to listen to how we speak to ourselves, all the time, it can come as quite a shock. Imagine speaking to someone that we love and care about with the same tone or words.
Self Love is more than a new age concept. Its a deep commitment and understanding to really have a sacred and honouring relationship with ourselves. Dr. Gabor Mate, in his talk on Self Love, explains that with courage and a willingness to look at our choices, we can begin to grow compassion for ourselves and change the beliefs that we carry about not being good enough. He states that people believe that self-love is some kind of emotion that needs to show up as a ‘warmhearted regard for the self.’ But it’s far more than that. When we show up for ourselves and believe in who we are, then there is the possibility to transform and become okay with who we are in our own skin. Self Love gives us the opportunity to support our own learning and growing into becoming more of the authentic being that we long to be. By owning who we truly are, we accept and love ourselves.
Self loving practice: GROUNDING
There is a wonderful, easy exercise that helps us get back into our bodies and into presence with ourselves. When we are present with ourselves, we can begin to listen and witness what is happening and begin to make the necessary changes in our attitude. Grounding is easy and can be done wherever you are. When you start to feel out of balance, anxious, or stressed, take a deep breath. Breathe deep into your belly, under your navel, and fill your body with oxygen. In this way, you quietly and quickly become present with yourself. And then begin to ground yourself. Breathe into your legs and into the earth under your feet. If you are sitting, imagine you are supported by the earth and ground yourself. Do this a few times, until you feel yourself calming and more peaceful. This process can take less than a minute but will allow you time to practice Self Love.
If you can respond to the craziness of life from a place of Self Love and Presence, you may find that you cope better and feel more strength in who you are.
Be always blessed
Nidhi Amanda Chaitow (Bapp.Soc.Sci)
Conscious Counselling Psychosocial Practice
Call or WhatsApp +27 65 937 9319
(Artist credit – Claire Casey)